Another page has turned. I quit my job. At least I quit going to my office. I refuse to accept the near certainty that I'll never be of real value to the company I was so instrumental in building, but, ironically, I paved the road that I used to walk away. It was the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
I am still capable of analytical thought and even complicated problem solving. The problem arises when I try to convey the thoughts and solutions into spoken words. A year ago I wrote of the deterioration of my speaking skills. I have never put a lot of thought into the titles of my post and it was no exception when I named that post "Speaking the Truth." Now as I sit and try to describe the characteristics of my failing speech skills, I find it humorously ironic that the most fitting word that I can muster is LIAR. My speech pattern no longer exudes the confidence of a truthful person. It has the starts and stops of someone trying to make it up as they go. The subtle clue that gives the listener that the speaker is lying.
I recall a moment in my childhood when my Dad asked me if I had broken a tool that we were forbidden to touch. I was totally innocent (in this case) but when I opened my mouth to claim no knowledge of the event, I stumbled on my words. I remember instantly knowing that I had sealed my fate with a simple slip of the tongue. From that early experience I learned that whether you speak the truth or not, you'd better do it with an air of confidence and without hesitation.
I can no longer carry it off. I know it. I've become that guy that seldom initiates a conversation and when I do, I mentally rehearse the words before speaking. Even then I often trip over the words. Truthfully speaking.......
I am still capable of analytical thought and even complicated problem solving. The problem arises when I try to convey the thoughts and solutions into spoken words. A year ago I wrote of the deterioration of my speaking skills. I have never put a lot of thought into the titles of my post and it was no exception when I named that post "Speaking the Truth." Now as I sit and try to describe the characteristics of my failing speech skills, I find it humorously ironic that the most fitting word that I can muster is LIAR. My speech pattern no longer exudes the confidence of a truthful person. It has the starts and stops of someone trying to make it up as they go. The subtle clue that gives the listener that the speaker is lying.
I recall a moment in my childhood when my Dad asked me if I had broken a tool that we were forbidden to touch. I was totally innocent (in this case) but when I opened my mouth to claim no knowledge of the event, I stumbled on my words. I remember instantly knowing that I had sealed my fate with a simple slip of the tongue. From that early experience I learned that whether you speak the truth or not, you'd better do it with an air of confidence and without hesitation.
I can no longer carry it off. I know it. I've become that guy that seldom initiates a conversation and when I do, I mentally rehearse the words before speaking. Even then I often trip over the words. Truthfully speaking.......
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I hope to post more often over the next few months and have set up a workstation in one of our empty nest bedrooms. The phone shot below gives you a look at where I will spend most of my remaining days. Quite peaceful, I think.
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