Another page has turned. I quit my job. At least I quit going to my office. I refuse to accept the near certainty that I'll never be of real value to the company I was so instrumental in building, but, ironically, I paved the road that I used to walk away. It was the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
I am still capable of analytical thought and even complicated problem solving. The problem arises when I try to convey the thoughts and solutions into spoken words. A year ago I wrote of the deterioration of my speaking skills. I have never put a lot of thought into the titles of my post and it was no exception when I named that post "Speaking the Truth." Now as I sit and try to describe the characteristics of my failing speech skills, I find it humorously ironic that the most fitting word that I can muster is LIAR. My speech pattern no longer exudes the confidence of a truthful person. It has the starts and stops of someone trying to make it up as they go. The subtle clue that gives the listener that the speaker is lying.
I recall a moment in my childhood when my Dad asked me if I had broken a tool that we were forbidden to touch. I was totally innocent (in this case) but when I opened my mouth to claim no knowledge of the event, I stumbled on my words. I remember instantly knowing that I had sealed my fate with a simple slip of the tongue. From that early experience I learned that whether you speak the truth or not, you'd better do it with an air of confidence and without hesitation.
I can no longer carry it off. I know it. I've become that guy that seldom initiates a conversation and when I do, I mentally rehearse the words before speaking. Even then I often trip over the words. Truthfully speaking.......
I am still capable of analytical thought and even complicated problem solving. The problem arises when I try to convey the thoughts and solutions into spoken words. A year ago I wrote of the deterioration of my speaking skills. I have never put a lot of thought into the titles of my post and it was no exception when I named that post "Speaking the Truth." Now as I sit and try to describe the characteristics of my failing speech skills, I find it humorously ironic that the most fitting word that I can muster is LIAR. My speech pattern no longer exudes the confidence of a truthful person. It has the starts and stops of someone trying to make it up as they go. The subtle clue that gives the listener that the speaker is lying.
I recall a moment in my childhood when my Dad asked me if I had broken a tool that we were forbidden to touch. I was totally innocent (in this case) but when I opened my mouth to claim no knowledge of the event, I stumbled on my words. I remember instantly knowing that I had sealed my fate with a simple slip of the tongue. From that early experience I learned that whether you speak the truth or not, you'd better do it with an air of confidence and without hesitation.
I can no longer carry it off. I know it. I've become that guy that seldom initiates a conversation and when I do, I mentally rehearse the words before speaking. Even then I often trip over the words. Truthfully speaking.......
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I hope to post more often over the next few months and have set up a workstation in one of our empty nest bedrooms. The phone shot below gives you a look at where I will spend most of my remaining days. Quite peaceful, I think.
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The bravest and best decisions are always the hardest. I am sorry you had to quit going to office, but I admire your strength in acting to do what is best for you and your family. Yet it looks like you've traded in the old office for a pretty spiffy new home one. I like the look of it - it's SO green! I hope we'll be hearing more of your musings from this new command central. And just so you know - you sound quite truthful and confident in print. Best to you.
ReplyDeleteWow! CW, what a great entry! Maybe there's a device out there that can talk for you! All you have to do is type your thoughts and it will speak it for you, because you don't seem to have a bit of trouble sharing 'em on here... like 'Headstrong' said, "you sound quite truthful and confident in print." :)
ReplyDeleteAs for your new office... and life without work... it does look pretty awesome!
And to have PEACE... well, in my book, you have arrived!! PEACE is what it's all about, don't you think? What good is life without PEACE??
Hang in there, CW and ENJOY that PEACE!! :)
Hey Bob,, well love the view you will have at the home office. I am sue it was quite difficult leaving the office for the last time. You touched many lives there at work. how does Gail like having a house husband now? I still find things put away in different places when Kel unloads the DW!! Kel is having some difficulties with getting his hands to do what his brain is telling them to do. He gets frustrated very easily, and i am sure he is bored. Last night my brother Kevin and his daughter Erica were here from MN and we were looking at the lovely book you gave us, and reminicsing about the bike weekend , and then i got online and showed the two of them your blog site as they asked how you were. Kel will start with Medicare next month and financially that will ease my pocketbook, but what an ordeal to sift thru all that paperwork and make the decisions of who to go with , which supplement, which prescription plan. You said once you were back on sinemet, is it helping with the myoclonus? I heard from Dr Boeve at Mayo, still now clinical trial beginning yet but he was going to Paris for a conference with world scientists and said other drugs are so close..
ReplyDeletethink of you often Bob. Please stay in touch. Karla
hi,where are you these days?hows retirement going ,looking like you are busy as you havnt been posting,hope you are ok.it will be nice to heaar from you again,take care
ReplyDeletehi,does anybody know if bob is ok?
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