Thursday, January 12, 2012

Conflicted or Confused......

It has become difficult to write a blog post. Not that I have trouble thinking of subjects and God knows I have the time. It just always seems I am conflicted about how to begin and what to explore. It seems I am often "conflicted" about what to eat, then how many crackers with my soup. I'm "conflicted" about when to fill the bird feeders and what TV show to record. I am fearful that rather then conflicted, I am simply becoming confused.

I don't feel lost or disoriented and I wouldn't say that I'm befuddled but here's the rub. Can a person determine shades of red while wearing red-lensed glasses? Will I remain able to recognize and measure my own degenerating mental capacities? Maybe that is the punchline to God's cruel joke.

Superwoman (my wife) scrapbooks (the verb). I mean with a capital S! She is so serious about it that I built shelves (before CBGD) to help her store and organize her tools and "embellishments."

Every meaningful photo of every birthday, recital, trip to the zoo or graduation has been pasted into its proper place and fittingly embellished.

Vacations have their very own scrapbooks.

When she told me the subject of her next project, I had to giggle. Then we shared a laugh when she said, "I'll have to hide this one from the kids." Before my readers jump to erroneous conclusions, the scrapbook will contain love letters, notes, and cards I've written to her over the last 25+ years. She saved them all. The little cards that come with flowers (there must be 100), notes left saying I had run to get milk, and even the occasional "I'm sorry, I was wrong" (there's more than one). There are the full-blown-my-life-has-changed-forever notes.

Maybe a "picture is worth a thousand words" but saving a note that says, "I'm at Tim's soccer game. Love, Bob" speaks volumes.

While Superwoman may have trouble verbally expressing her feelings, her actions are plain to read. She loves me and has for a long, long time!