Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Eye for an Eye.....

Recently, on top of my growing loss of right side motor skills, I have noticed blurred vision in my right eye. I have enjoyed near perfect eyesight until I hit 50 years old, then I began to require reading glasses. This new development is not a total surprise as most literature on CBGD includes references to vision problems. There are references to a bunch of other maladies too. I'm going to have so much fun (he says with his best tone of sarcasm)!

On a good note: I am taking a much needed vacation tomorrow. Superwoman and I are going to San Diego to visit my brother and sister and spend sometime exploring my old hometown. Sunshine and sea air is a great antidote.


When I started this blog I envisioned writing a steady stream of prose about the physical and mental aspects of this rare "illness." Then, near the end, I imagined signing off with a moving tribute to those around me who gave me strength and then a hardy "Hi Oh Silver" as I road off into the sunset.

The truth is, as my corticalbasal brain regions, controlling motor functions, dies it is taking with it my initiative to do a lot of things. I've never been a lazy man. I wanted to be but couldn't find the time.

Last year I wrote about grief. In that post I said I couldn't seem to get to the "angry" phase. That is changing. I try to accept the cards that have been dealt me, but damn, what a crappy hand.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Line in the Sand.......

I've started at least three separate posts over the last few weeks, only to become disgusted with myself for being so negative. I certainly have loads of good in my life and should count my blessings. Ironically my math skills seem to be slipping away, making counting more difficult.

We had a bit of an ice storm recently. I spun out my company Jeep and hit a freeway center barrier. I'm basically a one-armed driver now and don't know if that had any bearing on my ability to avoid the crash.

As my condition worsens I worry that perhaps I can't recognize the impact it is having on my behavior. When do I know it's time to quit driving, working, living. There is no line in the sand...... at least not one that I can see.