Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The "After".........

In a few moments of unusual candor, Superwoman and I recently had a conversation about "after."  I needed to be reassured that she would be okay.  Tears flowed and long hugs were heartfelt and tight.  We/I talked frankly about how lucky I was to have had time to prepare for the inevitable while I still had my faculties.  How much worse it would have been had I been killed in a car crash or had a sudden debilitating stroke.  I said, with certainty, that my current physical condition and state of mind would not have allowed me to prepare for the "after" the way I have.

It gives me a great feeling of peace knowing my wife will be fine.

Our conversation meandered around to the type of man I had been.  I was humbled to silence when she shared a conversation she had with a friend.  She explained to the friend that I was always "doing things" for her.  Random acts of thoughtfulness.  The friend told her it was a reflection of the type of man I was and how I had been raised.  Her friend said, "You can tell he's not doing it just to impress you."

I remained silent with pride but the truth is, nearly everything I have accomplished in life, professionally, as a husband, and as a father was motivated by my desire to impress her.  Even now, the courage I muster to get through these remaining trying days comes from my hope that she will, in the "after," think well of me.




  1. You've always been an inspiration. I'm so glad you keep posting.

    Hopefully the wood paneling is gone though, right? hah.

  2. Mr. C.,
    Thanks for checking in. Ha, yes the paneling was horrid. It was a rental and we moved to our current home the following year (sans paneling).

  3. My father was a CBD sufferer - we had the 'after' disucssion whilst he still had a little speach left. It was not an easy conversation but I was always pleased we had discussed this & how he wanted his end of life weeks to be.
    I have followed your blog for a while now & hope you are able to contiue to share your thoughts for a long while to come


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