I informed the owner of the company of of my diagnosis shortly after entering 2009. We work together everyday and have been a successful team. the problem is.....He is in complete denial.
He asked me recently what medication I was taking. I said, "Nothing now, why?" He said he noticed I was having difficulty when we were having lunch with a couple of vendors. I explained that it is a normal symptom of CBGD and that things will get worse. He thinks I should change doctors.
I am already having difficulties in some job related areas but I have developed coping mechanisms. I'm becoming pretty good at typing left handed and I keep Word open on my desktop to jot down notes that would normally end up on a yellow post-it. During phone calls when someone gives me a quick phone number, I type it into my calculator.
My biggest concern, at the present, is stress induced tremors. When I get into a stressful situation my right leg goes berserk. I've been a public speaker for years and though speaking before big crowds made me nervous, I was an expert at masking it. Now I even feel some tremor just writing this. A nice glass of Australian red wine seems to help, but I do have to drive home from work!
Right after I was diagnosed, I joined a support group on Yahoo that automatically forwards any emails posted to the group. Ninety-five percent of these are posted by caregivers supporting CBGD patients that are in latter stages of the disease. It gives me a window to my future. It is ugly and I often delete the emails without reading them.
The real dilemma is do I live all out now while I can or do I resist the temptation and spend all my resources preparing for the future. Most people have trouble not living in the past.... I have trouble not living in the future!
Well, THAT was depressing! I promise a counterpoint soon.
