It seems I've somehow aggravated an old knee injury on my "good" leg and it is quite painful. It also adds to my instability.
On my day off I decided to weed and mulch one of our flower beds. It should have been a small job, but it exhausted me. Later, while checking my vegetable garden, I fell. I was stepping over the rabbit fence and just didn't clear my trailing leg. I fell like a sack of potatoes. Luckily I landed on soft earth avoiding stakes and garden tools.
The earth felt warm and the tomato vines I had bruised as I fell were giving off their distinctive odor. I took a careful inventory as I lay there, then I cried. I had known that a fall would come but I was not ready for it.
Then later that day, while talking to my wife, it all came bubbling to the surface. I sobbed, "I'm sorry." She hugged me as I tried to regain my composure.
I was sorry not only that I was the reason our dreams were being slowly shattered but I was sorry that I had failed to maintain my facade of strength. I must not place the emotional burdens I carry on her.
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I hate your disease with you. I am praying for you Bob. I'm in the fight with you, and so are many others.
ReplyDeleteBob, you don't need to apologize to people, no one. Get better!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Bob. But we are all here to listen, to mentally give you a great big hug. Lay your burdens on us. Tell us everything. We're listening...
ReplyDeleteAnne,
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Secretia,
Thanks, but I think a feeling of guilt comes with the package.
Theresa,
That is why I seem so pitiful in my blog.....because I post the bottom-end stuff here. I think I'll post a disclaimer.
First of all, it goes without saying that you are truly a very gifted writer.. so many of your thoughts that I am reading are piercing right through.. "I must not place the emotional burdens I carry on her." - what a powerful line.. you are one strong person - truly inspiring..
ReplyDelete