Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Knowing It's The Last Time.....

Under normal circumstances it is rare that you know you'll be doing something for the very last time. Maybe the day you retire or the last day of high school or perhaps the last visit to the hospital to see a dying friend.

My circumstances are different. I planted my annual tomato / flower garden yesterday. It was a very difficult challenge and left me exhausted. Then I wept. I knew that it would be the last garden I ever plant. I was barely able to dig the holes and struggled to hammer in the support stakes. If my condition continues to degrade at the present rate, there is no way I'll be able to plant next year.

I keep running into things that I've always been able to do but now, either can't or am barely able to struggle through.

The message here is to be cognizant of how lucky you are to be able to do not only the things you enjoy, but also the things you now think are necessary evils. Be happy that you can peel that bannana, pop that top, fasten that seat belt and be joyous that you can carve that turkey.


  1. I was thinking this the other day when I was doing one of the more obnoxious tasks of caring for my infant son.
    One day, I'll long to be able to see him like this again.
    Not exactly the same, but I appreciate what you're saying.

  2. I guess we're not aware of that. What can I say, this post touched me.

    We take many things for granted and we don't value most of the things we have... until we don't have them.

    I really hope it's not the last.

  3. You can read my blog about CBD here:

  4. Kristine,
    Surely, "We will never pass this way again." Stolen from old Seals and Crofts lyrics. (1974). Find the'll love it.

    L.Q., Here's hoping!

    Anon., I have read your blog and I respect the heroic efforts you've made for your mother. My point of view could not be yours. Good luck to you. I mean that!

  5. I just wanted to say thank you for doing this blog. I've really been trying to slow down and experience my life since I found it.

  6. NOTbenny,
    Thanks. I wish I had been a bit more aware of time passing. I really never believed I'd live to be an OLD man, so I lived a full life. But once I hit fifty, it became apparent that I might actually enjoy old age. Then the rug got jerked out from under me. It's a good thing I have a sense of humor or I'd be pissed.

  7. Thank you for keeping this online diary and sharing with us.

    Your profile picture first caught my attention (being a leisure cyclist myself) and never would I expect I have just stumbled into something so touching and inspiring.

    Keep on living life and thank you again for reminding me to count the blessings.

  8. C.O.
    Thanks for the encouragement. Some days we all could use some.

  9. I feel your pain my friend. I also have CBGD and like you I think I have planted my last garden also. I have returned to your site from time to time. It is like someone is writing my life's story. I'll check back soon.


  10. Skip,
    Stay with me my friend, there aren't many of use and we may need each others advice.

  11. My mom also planted her last garden. So unfair, so sad, so essentially WRONG. So now I plant it for her. She cannot speak, so she points to the plants she likes and I buy them. she points where she wants them planted and I plant. She refuses to give up and I refuse to let her be without her garden. By golly, she will have one until I plant one on her grave. It is my way of thumbing my nose at CBGD and a way to share something with my mother. I am giving her flowers while she lives and we are making memories together.


I read ALL comments right after they're posted. I may fail to respond, but please know your input is appreciated.