On a good note: I am taking a much needed vacation tomorrow. Superwoman and I are going to San Diego to visit my brother and sister and spend sometime exploring my old hometown. Sunshine and sea air is a great antidote.
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When I started this blog I envisioned writing a steady stream of prose about the physical and mental aspects of this rare "illness." Then, near the end, I imagined signing off with a moving tribute to those around me who gave me strength and then a hardy "Hi Oh Silver" as I road off into the sunset.
The truth is, as my corticalbasal brain regions, controlling motor functions, dies it is taking with it my initiative to do a lot of things. I've never been a lazy man. I wanted to be but couldn't find the time.
Last year I wrote about grief. In that post I said I couldn't seem to get to the "angry" phase. That is changing. I try to accept the cards that have been dealt me, but damn, what a crappy hand.
The truth is, as my corticalbasal brain regions, controlling motor functions, dies it is taking with it my initiative to do a lot of things. I've never been a lazy man. I wanted to be but couldn't find the time.
Last year I wrote about grief. In that post I said I couldn't seem to get to the "angry" phase. That is changing. I try to accept the cards that have been dealt me, but damn, what a crappy hand.
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PARDON MY RAMBLING BUT THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL I HAVE TODAY.
PARDON MY RAMBLING BUT THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL I HAVE TODAY.
Crappy hand or not my friend, you should continue to celebrate all the good times you have played at the table.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time away.
Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteYou reminded me of a time, as a 19 year old, when serving in the US Navy, when I was dealt four Kings in a hand of five card poker. There were two full houses among the other older sailors at the table and they continued to run up the pot. I knew I had a sure winner and could hardly hold my bladder. I won $783 (1970) US dollars and calmly picked up my winnings and left the table. I made several young ladies a bit richer at the next port. So you're right, I have had my share of good hands!
In my mother's case, on the evening of April 18, 2006, she was still hobbling around, still able to talk. Then, on the morning of April 19, about 7:00 a.m., my dad heard a THUD from the kitchen. My mother had got out of bed, hobbled into the kitchen, had a seizure, and that was it. No walking after that. No intelligible conversation. It wasn't a slow gradual decline. It was a cliff. We didn't know until much later that what she had was a seizure, and that this sort of incidence is not uncommon with CBD. At the time, everyone except the emergency room radiologist thought she had had a stroke.
ReplyDeleteIf only I had known about the "ketone bodies therapy" (medium chain triglyceride/MCT oil) back in 2006 when she could still talk and walk. Maybe I would have been able to keep those ailing parts of her brain alive. But now, all I can do is keep her as she is. I hope. Time will tell.
Hey CW!! Glad to see you're back on! I know it must be hard to continue with this blog, but for those of us that follow, you're our hero! As I've said before, I can only imagine...
ReplyDeleteI hope you're enjoying the time with your family... and especially 'Superwoman'! Y'all deserve it! Give her a big hug and let her know we're out here pulling for y'all... and PRAYING for both of you!
Anxiously awaiting the next entry... ... ...
Oh... and about your 'crappy hand'... just break out the old Kenny Rogers 8 track! :)
Anger is not always a bad thing. Just as long as you keep it in check. Being angry about some of the things happening to you is totally justifiable. I'd be angry too.
ReplyDeleteBut there are good things as well. Celebrate those. You're beautiful.
"If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through". Chinese proverb