Not all buttons are my enemy, just the little one on button down collars and, the bane of my existence, the sleeve buttons on my left arm.As my motor skills in my right hand deteriorate I have become more dependent on my left hand to perform tasks that I, as a career righthander, accomplished without thought. There are certain things that I find increasingly frustrating.
The extra time it takes me to get dressed for work in the morning is secondary to the mental anguish that it causes me just to start my day.
For some things I have developed coping mechanisms to reduce the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I tackle a simple chore that was once mindless. I bought an electric razor and find I can shave lefty with it and am seldom left bloodied. I button all the buttons on my shirts that I can the night before. I choose food that does not require two-handed cutting.
There are some things that are unavoidable reminders that I have CBGD. My cars ignition is on the right side of my steering column and it is becoming more difficult to insert the key and turn.In my attempts to remain independent and not be an early burden to my still denying wife I continue to hide these daily (hell, hourly) trials. I sit here typing with my left hand with an occaisional assist from my "alien hand" when the shift key is
required.Oh, and one of my shoes is untied because it is not high on my priority list of frustrating things to do. I think my next pair will be loafers.
And I'm seriously considering incorporating
velcro into my list of things
I want for my birthday.
Bob,
ReplyDeleteI know it is hard to even comprehend you have this disease, let alone come to grips (excuse the pun) with what it has already done. Please keep blogging. Others need to know they are not alone. I read this post to my mom, and she cried to just know someone else who experiences what she experienced. (She said she got the curly no-tie shoelaces on her sneakers, by the way).
You are also helping me to love her and understand what she went through all alone. She's one tough chick. After reading your notes, I could truly see her through new eyes. This counts. You are doing something good.
Also, God never sleeps or quits His vigil over you. He knows your deep, scared heart. When I was suffering with what they thought was M.S. 2 years ago, but finally labeled "Chronic Fatigue," I was living in a low-level hover/dread feeling. Every time I'd feel the fatigue coming over me I'd panic. Now I just try to stay calm and pray and count my blessings. You will learn how to cope too. Give yourself some grace and mercy.
Blessings to you and your lovely family.
I'm praying for you.
Anne